Sticks and Stones……

Titanic

This Wednesday was the 97th anniversary of the Titanic shipwreck of 1912. I first saw the award-winning movie, Titanic, almost 12 years ago. Like most, I thought it was sad to see the innocent lives lost. I wasn’t even a parent yet, but the scene with the mom tucking the kids in while knowing that the ship was sinking really tugged on my heart strings. While there are multiple lessons in this story, I’ve really missed the boat (pun intended) on the most important message that this story communicates. After researching this account, I’ve found myself getting a little convicted.  

I’ve been meditating on James 3 this week and verses 3-5 have really jumped out at me in lieu of this historic event. Consider what James said,

“If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.” 

James uses two analogies to illustrate one main point – like the bit or the rudder, the tongue is small but mighty. If the rider doesn’t control the bit, the horse is out of control. If the captain doesn’t control and guide the ship via the rudder, the ship is out of control.

Consider the case of the Titanic. Captain Edward J. Smith was in command of the Titanic on that fateful night, April 12, 1912. As the ship veered into freezing waters, at least 6 warnings were transmitted to radio operators on board by 9:40 PM – 2 hours before impact. Some of the messages were delivered to the captain, and were ignored in most cases.

One account indicated that 3 messages from another ship warned of a field of icebergs. The captain was downstairs having dinner, and wasn’t alerted. At this point, ice was only 50 miles away. Eventually, the iceberg itself comes into view standing 55-60 feet above the water. The warning bell was sounded, the engines were stopped, and the wheel was spun as far as it could go. This was to no avail, however, and the ship struck the iceberg. From sighting to collision elapsed 37 seconds.

James compares the tongue to the rudder of a ship. In examining this comparison, we see that the rudder is relatively small when compared to the ship. There has been much debate over whether the rudder of the Titanic was too small. The theory is that if it were the proper size, the Titanic would have been able to avoid the iceberg. According to Captain Charles B. Weeks Jr, of Encyclopedia Titanica, the rudder was slightly too small, but he believes that this had little significant influence on the Titanic’s outcome. Had the ship heeded the numerous warnings, the captain would have been able to influence and guide the ship to safety.

As we remember the words of James, I think this is a clear picture of what he intended in the aforementioned passage. James isn’t saying that the tongue controls the body and more than the rudder controls the ship. The rudder‘s or the tongue’s actions are completely predicated on its controlling influence. The rudder has to overcome multiple competing forces in order to direct the ship safely. In order to function, the rudder has to be under the control of a strong guiding hand who knows how to operate it properly. Captain Smith’s influence was very little because of the continued ignorance of warnings and red flags. Why? The crew knew that a warning was issued, but they didn’t want to bother him during dinner. At another time, the warning was written on a piece of paper and given to him. He handed it to another crew member, who just tucked it in his pocket. I’m sure there are a great number of factors that coalesced in such a way as to limit his ability to avert this crisis. Whatever they were, those factors needed to be overcome in order to save the ship. So it is with the tongue. The tongue must overcome our broken, imperfect and sinful flesh in order to accomplish anything good. Like the rudder, the tongue can’t accomplish anything by itself. It must come under God’s control.

One of the most popular yet inaccurate children’s proverbs is:

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”

Usually, this is said with good intentions. My mom used to repeat it often because I had such a short temper as a kid. The truth is that words have the power to both hurt and heal. Has someone ever said something that hurt and stuck with you for a long time? I think it’s really easy to be sarcastic or critical, and not realize how much damage is being done. But in the same way, the well-timed encouragement or compliment can inspire someone for the rest of their life.

I am just speaking my mind!

We are a culture that is proud to speak its mind. A woman came to John Wesley and said she knew what her talent was. “I think my talent from God is to speak my mind.” Wesley replied, “I don’t think God would mind if you buried that talent.” Speaking forth everything that comes to mind is unwise, poisonous speech.

This is a principle that I have to keep being mindful of in marriage. It’s so easy for me to just “Tell it like it is” and begin criticizing and hurt my wife in the process. Sometimes we may speak carelessly in our criticism and disguise it as a joke. Consider Proverbs 26:18-19:

“Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, “I am only joking!”

Compare this with Proverbs 12:25

“Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.”

James says that although small, the tongue has tremendous power, both for good (bless God) and evil (cursing men). This shouldn’t be the case, but it often is. As I’ve been studying this, I’ve been convicted by 2 things:

1.) Words I’ve used that hurt and

2.) Hurtful words that I’ve thought and felt, but didn’t use.

Scripture tells us to bridle the tongue. James 1:26 reads, “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.”  I’ve been really chewing on this lately. Those who know me can attest to my alleged “gift of gab”. It’s so easy for me to just get caught up in having more to say, that I get careless. An author of one of my favorite blogs stated that he prays, “Lord let my words be few and true”. Holding our unhelpful or hurtful words is necessary to stop the “what” but it doesn’t necessarily help stop the “why”.

 Luke 6:45 states, “The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” The root of the problem isn’t the hurtful words themselves, but our proclivity to use them. I’ve really been searching my heart to get at the root of why the hurtful words are even there. I think the hardest thing to remember is that being right on an issue doesn’t give me license to unbridle my tongue. It’s a battle I suspect that will always be there, but the battlefield is where real growth occurs.

I’m making a point to watch my speech closely, especially when I’m upset or excited and fail to bridle my tongue. When I’m properly bridling my tongue, it’s because I really want to bring glory to God with what I’m thinking and doing. When I’m not bridling, I could easily be influenced by passionate emotions concerning politics, religion, sports, having to change a diaper after a hard day of work (had to throw that in there), etc…  What influences your rudder?